The pressures of parenthood are even more intense than I had ever imagined. You spend your entire pregnancy worrying whether you're "prepared" to have a baby, not realizing that you'll never be prepared for the responsibility of raising a decent human being. In an attempt to prepare yourself, you spend nine months reading book after book.
I look back now and of all the books I've read, the only baby book I choose to live by is the one written by the American Academy of Pediatrics- Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5.
According to it, there are two types of babies:
I look back now and of all the books I've read, the only baby book I choose to live by is the one written by the American Academy of Pediatrics- Caring for Your Baby and Young Child: Birth to Age 5.
According to it, there are two types of babies:
1-"The first infant is calm and quiet, happy to play by herself. She watches everything that happens around her, but rarely demands attention herself. Left on her own, she sleeps for long periods and eats infrequently."
2-"The second baby is fussy and startles easily. She thrashes her arms and legs, moving almost constantly whether awake or asleep. While most newborns sleep fourteen hours a day, she sleeps only ten, and wakens whenever there's the slightest activity nearby. She seems in a hurry to do everything at once and even eats in a rush, gulping her feedings, and swallowing so much air that she needs frequent burping."
WAIT A MINUTE! WAS THIS BOOK WRITTEN ABOUT BUG, OR WHAT?!?!?
"Both these babies are absolutely normal and healthy. One is no "better" than the other, but because their personalities are so far apart, the two will be treated very differently, right from birth.
Like these babies, your infant will demonstrate many unique personality traits from the earliest weeks of life. Discovering these traits is one of the most exciting parts of having a new baby. Is she very active and intense, or relatively slow-going? Is she timid when faced with a new situation, such as the first bath, or does she enjoy it? You'll find clues to her personality in everything she does, from falling asleep to crying. The more you pay attention to these signals and learn to respond appropriately to her unique personality, the calmer and more predictable your life will be in the months to come."
PHEW! That was A LOT.
Here's the thing about having a baby- there are so many books you "should" read. When we first brought Bug home, we did what all the baby-know-it-all books and videos told us to do. At first, Bug cooperated. Then, she threw it all out the window. (Figuratively-duh. She can't even grasp anything, let alone throw it.) Well, as first time parents and not having raised any other children of our own, we felt like there was something wrong with us and even sometimes Bug.
"Why couldn't she sleep as much as 'normal' babies?"
We had heard stories from family and friends about babies who fed every 2-3 hours, unlike Bug, who fed every hour to hour and a half. We even heard about babies who slept through the night by the second month. (Oh, how I envied those parents.) The baby-know-it-all books and videos said she'd be doing "this" and doing "that" by now. What was wrong with us, that we couldn't get our baby to do any of these things? NOTHING was wrong with us. We just needed to take the pressure and expectations off of ourselves, as well as Bug and let her fall into her natural routine, even if this meant that she would sleep all day and only sleep for a couple hours at a time every night. Just like Dr. Nish (our awesome and most supportive pediatrician) said, "She'll figure it out sooner or later that we stay awake during the day and sleep at night." Sure enough, she did! We are finally somewhere in between 3-4 months (Yeah, I lost track. I'm one of "those" parents who can't remember how many weeks exactly her baby is. You can judge me.) and Bug has been sleeping 8-12 hours every night for two weeks. I think it's safe to say that this is her new routine. Although...is it ever safe to say anything with babies? :) Those days of no sleep and waking up every few hours or so are long gone and seem so far away, even though they were just a few weeks ago!
"Why couldn't she sleep as much as 'normal' babies?"
We had heard stories from family and friends about babies who fed every 2-3 hours, unlike Bug, who fed every hour to hour and a half. We even heard about babies who slept through the night by the second month. (Oh, how I envied those parents.) The baby-know-it-all books and videos said she'd be doing "this" and doing "that" by now. What was wrong with us, that we couldn't get our baby to do any of these things? NOTHING was wrong with us. We just needed to take the pressure and expectations off of ourselves, as well as Bug and let her fall into her natural routine, even if this meant that she would sleep all day and only sleep for a couple hours at a time every night. Just like Dr. Nish (our awesome and most supportive pediatrician) said, "She'll figure it out sooner or later that we stay awake during the day and sleep at night." Sure enough, she did! We are finally somewhere in between 3-4 months (Yeah, I lost track. I'm one of "those" parents who can't remember how many weeks exactly her baby is. You can judge me.) and Bug has been sleeping 8-12 hours every night for two weeks. I think it's safe to say that this is her new routine. Although...is it ever safe to say anything with babies? :) Those days of no sleep and waking up every few hours or so are long gone and seem so far away, even though they were just a few weeks ago!
I am so proud of us and of Bug. We made it through our first trial as a family- the sleepless nights. We are now able to enjoy Bug's "awake time" during the day. She gets it now- play during the day and sleep at night. As soon as we took away the pressure for her to be like "most babies" (as the baby books would say), things just fell into place. (They fell into place slowly, but nonetheless, fell into place.) I remember so many sleepless nights where I prayed that she would get into a routine- ANY routine! Now that she has, we're wishing she'd stay awake long enough to play before bed and see Daddy come home from work. It's a double-edged sword, I tell ya'! Hahaa.
I received the best advice from someone at my mom's work...
Don't worry about what everyone else has to say about how to raise your baby. Every baby is different. You do what's best and what works for YOU and YOUR BABY.
Although the baby-know-it-all books and videos work for lots of parents (how lucky they are!), sometimes they made us feel like Bug wasn't a "normal" baby and that there had to be something wrong with her. (I'm sure Dr. Nish was tired of me bringing her in between her scheduled appointments, always asking so many questions and becoming increasingly paranoid. I'm so grateful for his patience. Ironically, he's the one who gave me the book by the American Academy of Pediatrics. You'd think he was hinting at me to relax!) I look back and I think Bug just knew (and still knows) what she wants and when she wants it. She knew exactly when to start sleeping through the night- just in time for Mommy to get a full night's sleep for work! I know how amazing Bug is, how alert she is, and how fast she's developing and growing. She is right on track! So yeah, Bug might not be like "most babies", but that's okay because she's pretty amazing. Normality is overrated anyway, right? :P
Maybe our next kid will be like the one described in #1...or not. Hey, if we can handle Bug, we can handle any baby. Hahaa.
*WARNING for soon-to-be parents: This is what your coffee table will look like, no matter how many times you try to clear the baby clutter. Bug has officially taken over. :)
God Bless,
Maybe our next kid will be like the one described in #1...or not. Hey, if we can handle Bug, we can handle any baby. Hahaa.
*WARNING for soon-to-be parents: This is what your coffee table will look like, no matter how many times you try to clear the baby clutter. Bug has officially taken over. :)
God Bless,
Kat
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