Skip to main content

I'm your wife!

Leaving Bug to go back to work is the hardest thing I've probably had to go through (emotionally, anyway).  I changed my schedule so I could start at 7am and leave by 3:30pm, so I could spend less time in traffic after work and more time with Bug.  Since I start at 7am, I have to leave the house by 6:30am (at the latest). This tears me apart to leave so early because as well know, Bug is at her best early in the day- all smiles and giggles.  Week 2 of being back at work has officially begun and this morning, I was a wreck.  I got ready for work early and with 20 minutes left before I had to leave, I sat on the bed, hoping that Bug would wake up to say goodbye.  (It's pathetic, I know, but I've missed my mornings with Bug.) 

I fully understand that I have to go back to work and that this is what's best for Bug and I'm leaving her with the best caretaker- Grandma!  Knowing all of this doesn't make it any easier to sit at work, looking at the clock and thinking, "Wow, if I were at home, Bug would and I would be reading, or taking a walk right now."  So, every day, I do what I have to and I constantly have to remind myself that I'm sacrificing the time I have with her to work, so we can provide for her.  I watch the clock and count down the minutes until I get to leave work and rush home just in time to have an hour or two of play time, give her a bath, and put her to bed.
I know the mornings used to be my favorite with Bug, but now maybe the early evenings can be.  Maybe those can now be the moments I live for.  I'm hoping that my missing Bug so much during the day will pass.  (I know it won't.) I think it's just a "mom thing" to miss your kids like this.  So maybe I should just hope it gets easier to be away from her during the day.  She's only 3 months old, but in reality, I haven't been away from her for almost 10 months.  She spent 9 months in my belly and 3 months with me at home.  It's hard to be away from the one thing that is literally a part of you.

::SIGH::  What a sad blog!  Argh!  

Here are some happy pics of Bug with her new mobile!  Bug loved the other one so much we played it all the time and it broke.  It was so sad to see her sad little face when she'd look up and it wasn't moving.  Mobiles are expensive!  At Toys R Us, we placed the mobile in front of Bug and she smiled instantly.  Then Wyatt and I proceeded to have the following conversation:

Wyatt:  "She smiled.  We're getting it."  

Me:  "It's that easy, huh?  Honey, if I smile at a pair of shoes can I get them?"  

Wyatt:  "She's different.  She's my daughter!"  Pause.  

Me:  "I'm your wife!" 

I guess it's just different.  I see where I stand now...right behind Bug.  Hahaa.


God Bless,
Kat

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 month Cub (9, 10, 11 too)

Clearly I've missed a few monthly updates of the Cub.  I apologize.  We were busy and life has literally taken us for a whirlwind ride.  To be really honest, I lost a lot of motivation to write these past few months because I've every time I started to write, all I could think to write about was my grandpa, Papang, how much I've missed him, and the endless tears that came out when I thought of him.  Every time I reflected back on the moments with my kids and my family, I seemed to cry, thinking of how much he's missed even in the short 5 months he's been gone.  After months of tears and prayers, I feel like I'm officially starting to feel like I'm healing.  While I know I may not heal completely, I can function without tears flowing from my eyes every moment of silence. Cubby has grown quite a bit (to say the least) since my 3 month update.  Here is the gentle giant's growth in months 4, 5, 6, and 7. This weekend, Cubby turned 8...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Kinder Grad

Kindergarten can really take a toll on the parents.  (Yes, I meant to say parents.)  I knew we were in for a lot of activities and volunteering, but I did NOT know that it would become a second job to be an involved school parent.  I was told that by volunteering and being involved, it would give your kids (and their classmates) all the benefits.  At a private school (especially a Catholic private school), if there aren’t any volunteers, there aren’t many activities.  So ultimately, I knew I had to participate.  Could I have cut down on the activities I chaired or took part in?  Sure.  Why didn’t I?  [Insert long sigh here.]  Because in the end, I realized that I wasn’t sending my child to a private school because it was better than the public schools in the area.  (We actually have great public schools in our district.)  I was sending my child to a private Catholic school so she could learn about her faith.  The most imp...
Post a Comment
Read more

9 years later...

This is the story of a dentist-in-waiting-nomad, Angela (a.k.a. my sister, "Ate"-[for those who don't speak Filipino, pronounced "a-teh"]) and a basketball playing of an engineer. Freshman year: boy sees girl and never speaks to her. Senior year: boy befriends girl's sister and gets his chance. A winter formal came along. Boy asked. Girl accepted. Boy meets girl's brothers (eek!), mom, and dad (EEK!). They danced. Girl moves to San Francisco, then San Jose. Boy moves to San Jose. Boy moves back to Valencia. Girl stays in San Jose. This summer, girl will move back to Valencia. Soon, boy and girl will finally be getting married! 9 years later! I have yet to express how excited I am that my sister and Louie are finally getting married. (Not that they needed to tie the knot to officially make Louie a part of our family.) For nine years, Louie has become another big brother to me and an Uncle "Looouuuwweeeee" to my nieces- always willing to d...
3 comments
Read more