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3 month Cub and a Papang

Today marks the end of one very long week.  My maternity leave ended and I went back to work on Monday, which means that Cubby started daycare.  I went all week without singing in a high pitched voice, put on work clothes, drive my 45 minute to 1(+) hour(s) commute, and work.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m glad to be back at work, having mature conversations, wearing clothes that no one spits up on, and actually eating a lunch, BUT I miss my chubby-cheeked Cubby and being able to pick up big sister Bug right when the school bell rings at 3pm.  I miss it.  I miss my kids.  A LOT.

Since my last update (which clearly was too long ago, judging from how skinny Cubby looks), Cubby has grown exponentially.  Seriously.  I am not kidding.  This kid has almost doubled his weight and added 4 inches to his length. I feel like I’m raising the most gentle of all giants here.  Buggy has gotten used to having her bro around.  As a result of his massive growth spurt (all before 3 months of age), he’s sleeping through the night and is now sharing a bedroom with Buggy.  They’ll never escape each other now.  While both kids sleep through the night, they also both talk in their sleep.  So this mom spends her nights listening to the monitor, anticipating one of them to actually wake up.  


I mentioned before that Cubby started daycare.  He does really well there…until he hears Mom walk through the door.  Then the whining begins.  He spent the first two days after school, whining and feeding for three hours straight, letting his dear ol’ Mom know how upset he really was that she had spent all day away from her baby boy.  The most awful part is that his tears are quiet, soft, and REAL.  Way to lay on the guilt, Cub.  Mommy gets it.  You miss her.  While my heart is breaking, I’m excited about all that Cubby has to learn at school (especially during tummy time, which he hates right now).  I’m sure it’ll get better for us both. (Pray for us.)

In early September our family said goodbye to our Papang.

I am so thankful I got to spend some quality time with Papang a week before he passed, praying for him (and all of us) to accept what God has planned.


And I'm so thankful I was able to hold his hand as he left us.

Papang was the grandfather of all grandfathers.  The most loving, caring, and gentle person that ever walked this earth and everyone in our family mourned his death.  His health had been failing him for awhile and while we lost someone we loved so much, I’m excited that he is whole in Heaven.  He is not suffering and we all gained a guardian angel.  If you knew him, you know he was an angel here on earth. He left behind a large family of 6 kids, 19 grandchildren and 27 great grandchildren (Cubby being the last).  


The great grandchildren are Papang's legacy and they will be the ones to remind us of the joy he brought and they will continue to bring all of us (especially Mamang) happiness in tough times.


When the doctor placed Cubby onWhen the doctor placed Cubby onto my chest after birth, I looked into his eyes and immediately thought of my grandfather because just like Papang, Cubby’s eyes were gentle and I almost hoped he’d take on the characteristics of my grandfather.  

As he’s grown these past 3 months, Cubby has managed to fulfill my hopes.  He’s truly the most gentle of babies—happy, soft spoken, and his eyes are still so gentle.  I pray that maybe my grandfather lives on in him, as he does in each of the children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren he left behind.  In the midst of very outspoken great grandchild, I find it almost appropriate that Papang left this life right after Cubby came into it.  And every once in awhile when I miss Papang, I look at Cubby and I feel as though he’s there.  Silly, right?  Nope.  God has his way of healing your heart.  What I miss most about Papang is his gentleness (in touch and in speech).  And God fulfills my desire to be with Papang through my time with Cubby.  In those moments I miss him the most, God reminds me to slow down and allows me to recognize that Papang is still here - in my children and even in my husband (whose personality so much resembles that of Papang).



It’s been a hard month for our family and will probably continue to be.  So I ask that you pray for all my family members who are missing Papang and pray that in our own way, God heals us. I ask that you pray that they hold onto GOD in these times and the PROMISE of a better life in Heaven, and the HOPE that we will be reunited with a stronger, healthier Papang one day.

God Bless,
Kat

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