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Pride and Screaming

Blogging on a Friday night.  It's been awhile since this has happened.  I was feeling nostalgic, so I opted to just let it all out in an entry.  Lucky you, huh? 

Last night my sister and brother-in-law (a.k.a the Godparents) came over to spend some quality time with Bug (and I'm sure us too, but probably 90% because of Bug).  It's pretty amazing to see Bug interacting with them, especially my brother-in-law.  Let's face it.  The day she didn't scream at the sight of her poor Godfather seemed so far away.  However, as you know, a few weeks ago, she just gave in and let him into her life.  Just.  Like.  That.  Since then, there's been no turning back and these two have shared numerous smiles and laughs. Before they left last night the Godfather mentioned that Bug is a completely different person that she when she was "younger"...even just a month or two ago.  She used to spend so much time screaming and now she spends so much time laughing.  So true.

Before bed, the hubs and I were going through some of the milestone photos of Bug- her monthly photos, the first time she did this, the first time she did that- everything.  (Again, I hope the kids to come get this much attention.  Pray for us...and them!)  In an instant I thought of what the Godfather had said about Bug being a different person.  I tried to recall what kind of a person she was and all the changes along the way.  I began to feel so overwhelmed just thinking about the last 8 months of our lives with Bug.  The Godfather was right.  She did scream...a lot...so much so that we sometimes feared going out in public for more than half an hour.  I can't so much remember the days, but I sure remember the fear- the fear of her all of a sudden bursting into a scream because she peed, or screaming because she wanted to eat every hour.  As we looked through more photos, tears streamed down my face and the hubs asked why I was sad.  I responded that I was not sad- not in the least bit. I was proud- of us and of how far Bug has come in the short 8 months of her life.  Every day we are so caught up with trying to just get through the day taking care of her, that we forget to appreciate every single moment with her.  (Don't get me wrong, we try, but when there's pureed food being thrown across the room, or itty bitty hands grabbing one thing or another, or bottles and toys being thrown in every direction...well...it gets tough to sit back and appreciate all of it.  These parents are just trying to survive in a Bug's life.)  

I realized that the first few months of Bug's life were the hardest of mine.  THE hardest.  Did I mention she's only 8 months?  :P  Parenthood is tough.  I never doubted it.  However, I also never really knew that we not only could "survive" the newborn phase, but that we would actually do a pretty good job.  As each photo passed, more and more tears came out.  Bug is 8 months old and this is how proud I am of her and of us.  I can't imagine what a lifetime of loving this little Bug will do to me, watching her develop into what I think will be a very beautiful human being.  The thought is overwhelming. What an amazing gift it is to be a parent.  As I watch Bug interact with people- how social and friendly she is...I am overwhelmed with pride.  I am so proud that she lets others love on her the way we do without screaming.  I am proud that she lets the Godfather near her without screaming.  I am proud that she is growing up (as sad as it is too!).  I am proud.

God Bless,
Kat





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