The Unexpected

When people find out you're pregnant with your second child, they start to tell you one of the following:

1. Multiple kids- how hard it is to juggle one versus two kids.  Anything after two requires very minimal adjustments.
2. The age gap dilemma- to have your kids close in age, or to spread them apart.  

I'm here to address both points above.

When I was pregnant people would tell me how my life would be rocked, turned upside down when my second child came into the picture.  They said that going from one to two kids was the most challenging and having anymore than two really doesn't phase you.  Those people who said all of this to me were right.  Having baby L has truly rocked our world.  Our used to be family of three was set in a routine- a very good routine and now we're back to trying to figure it all out.  We're challenged with getting two kids on somewhat of the same schedule, which is almost impossible considering their age gap (to be addressed after this).  Needless to say, getting out of the house to do anything requires a ton of preparation.  To avoid any last minute preparation and delays, I've decided to keep a bag of extra "stuff" for the firstborn in my car.  On top of this, each night, whether or not we have plans the next morning, I pack up the diaper bag for the baby so that if/when we (usually I) decide we are/I am brave enough to venture out into the real world with two children, we're set and we're not delayed by anything other than a poopy diaper or feeding.  So far, this method has helped, but the poopy diaper and feeding schedule is more than enough to work around.  

The other day, I decided to go to the mall to buy a bra.  One bra. That's it.  I woke up, fed the baby until he was sleepy, put him directly into the car seat (to avoid drama later) and then got the firstborn ready.  As I put one foot out the front door, the baby pooped-- a big one.  So, we stepped back into the house, took him out and changed his diaper, which then required me to feed him again because now his stomach was emptied out.  UGH!  Anyway, we did it. Then we got to the mall [area] and stopped for a coffee (which, looking back was a bad idea).  Because I was feeling overly confident about my new mom of two skills, I asked the firstborn if she wanted to play at the mall playground.  Of course she said yes.  So we did.  While she played I realized that I had parked in 90 minute parking.  (Silly me for thinking this was enough time to accomplish my goal of buying a bra.)  We rushed back to the car and moved it to regular parking.  Because I rushed my firstborn out of the playground to move the car, I gave her more time at the playground after I moved it.  Mommy guilt.  She's been indoors since the baby's been born I gave it to her.  During her second attempt at playing in the mall playground, the baby FINALLY fell asleep.  Two hours later, I got to enjoy my cup of coffee.  Then the firstborn and I rushed to try on and purchase my bra.  Done.  Not really.  For being so cooperative, I treated the newborn to a ride on the mall train while her baby bro slept in his stroller.  This was awesome.  For a moment there I thought I was getting the hang of it.  NOT.

After the mall, I thought it would be a good idea to go to the market so I could actually make a full meal for dinner.  Lies.  As soon as we parked in the market parking lot, the baby began to cry.  It was feeding time and there was no way after a 3 hour nap, he'd wait any longer.  The only solution was to buy fast food and head home.  So I did.  My kid got fast food for lunch (as did I) and that was that.  The only success here is that I did get my bra...even if it was a 4 hour process.  When the hubs asked what I had accomplished that day, I responded with, "I bought a bra."  THE END.  We'll see how it goes next time.

I also attempted to use the carrier.  After tons of Youtube tutorials, I would say I didn't fail at this, but I would also say I didn't succeed.

The look your baby gives you because of how long it took you to put him in the carrier (unsuccessfully).

 The moment I enjoyed my coffee.

 The firstborn paying close attention at Victoria's Secret.

 The train ride reward.

The age gap dilemma- how far apart should you plan on having your kids (if you can plan at all).  After six weeks of having two kids that are 4 years and 11 months apart and witnessing most of my friends with children who are 3 years apart or less, I can say this is a trick question.  There's no win here.  During my second pregnancy people said that I would be lucky because I'd only have one baby to care for because my firstborn was so independent and this would be a smooth transition.  I hoped for this.  I prayed for this.  They said that kids close in age sometimes suffer from jealousy or they don't understand the impact of having a new baby.  (Although, I'm not sure a 4.5 year old really could either, but whatever.)  So here we are, less than two months after delivery and while the firstborn loves her baby brother, she has also decided that our family of four is never allowed to separate.  Any activity that requires members of our family to separate sometimes results in tears, sad eyes, etc.  The firstborn has become a homebody and has clung onto being at home to regain any sense of control of her life (which has been turned upside down by her baby brother).  I'm hoping that when big sister returns to school, her feelings of anxiety may subside.  Please pray for us during this transition.

Some very rare shots of the firstborn loving on her baby bro.

We're slowly adjusting to new routines and a very new "normal" in the D household.  While it's exciting for all of us, it's also very intimidating.  Sometimes we have to just go with the flow.  We have to realize that not all things can be planned and that there will be delays, hurdles, and the unexpected (whatever that may be).  Meanwhile, in the midst of the unexpected, we are truly grateful for our two blessings and are cherishing all of the new [unexpected] experiences.

God bless,

Kat