The previous blog was about Buggy's potty training experience. Part of that experience was pretty darn awful, but it had nothing to do with Bug. It had everything to do with Buggy's soon-to-be teachers in her big kid classroom and their lack of communication with us about our potty training protocol. Months in advance, each day, I let the teachers know when we would be potty training Buggy and asked what their protcol was. Each time I inquired, their response was, "You start your process at home for three days and we will continue your process at school." Okay, that seemed simple. However, because of their vague response, I continued to ask day after day and received the same response. So, we went ahead and trained her last weekend, no pull-ups- all panties. It was our personal preference to not even introduce pull-ups because for our kid, we know she learns better when we just switch cold turkey, rather than gradually.
Before bringing her back to school on Monday, they informed us she had to be in pull-ups and needed supplies I was not about. WHAT?!?! I wondered how none of this was communicated with us during the several conversations we had with her soon-to-be teachers. To top it off, we received no encouragement from them regarding wanting to potty train Bug. Instead of offering words of advice or encouragement, they discouraged us from doing it...until way into their first year. As her parents, we felt completely defeated before we even began the process. We knew Bug was ready and despite their personal preference of potty training nearer to 3 years old, we should have received some encouragement from them. Because of our relationships with Bug's current teachers, we are so accustomed to words of encouragement in transition times, as well as our requests regarding Bug being considered. This new negativity was hard to take, especially after weeks of preparation.
Yesterday afternoon I had a meeting with the director of the day care and informed her of the teachers' "miscommunication" to us. I informed her that as a parent, we attempted to open up lines of communication multiple times with Bug's soon-to-be teachers so that we can make sure we are all on the same page on all things having to do with Bug. When we are given inappropriate protocol and then expected to reverse a process (like put Bug in pull-ups after we trained her for 4 days in panties), we feel like time is wasted and all the progress we made in the 4 days of potty training was a waste. It's not so much the pull-ups that bother me. It's the fact that if we had been informed of the appropriate protocol before we began the potty training process, we could have avoided this issue entirely. I feel so disappointed with the negativity and experience with these new teachers because we have such great ones with her current teachers.
After speaking to the director, we agreed to put Bug into pull-ups during school only. There were several other conditions attached to this- the main one being that the teachers would not use the pull-ups as an excuse to not ask her to use the potty. Although we still feel somewhat defeated with this regression from panties to pull-ups during school, we're hopeful that the teachers may actually cooperate with us and even more hopeful that Bug remains consistent with using her potty so we can transition her completely into panties at school.
During the meeting with the daycare director, I was starting to think I was overreacting by feeling so hurt, but then I realized that advocating for Bug is my job as her mother. I told the director that as her mother, I feel it's not unwarranted to want and even expect her teachers to support us (and her!). I expect that it is a teachers job to discipline, while lifting up the children, rather than expect them to fail before they've had the chance to prove themselves. Her teachers were doing her a disservice by expecting her to fail the process before she had even begun. And if she hadn't grasped the concept entirely, why couldn't this be the beginning of potty training? What's wrong with that? What's wrong with trying? Clearly they lacked encouragement and faith in Bug (and the other children in the class). If they were like this with potty training, how would they be with other things in the classroom like reading, or math, etc.?
Yesterday was my sister-in-law, Catherine's birthday. 21 and fabulous, right?
She is mom to my most amazing nieces, two of whom have learning disabilities. The greatest piece of advice she ever gave me was that I should always advocate for my kids. As their parents, we are their biggest cheerleaders, biggest advocates, and we know better than anyone what they are capable of, which is anything and everything.
So this week, it was just about potty training, but some day, it could be about something bigger. I feel a sense of pride in not having let this slide with the teachers and letting the director know about our struggles with the those teachers. Thank you to one of the best mommy teachers I know for teaching and inspiring me to advocate for my Bug because now, the school is in the process of coming up with a potty training policy and it will be distributed and posted on their website, for all parents to see. Maybe now there will be no more "miscommunications."
God Bless,
Kat
Comments
Post a Comment